Gentlemen, glad you’re all here.
In this post I want to give you all a brief background into my life, where I came from, and why I’m now here.
This will be a pretty long post, I’ll admit. However it’ll give you a great understanding of the mistakes and fuck-ups I’ve been through, my failures and the lessons learned. I hope this gives you a picture of what my life and mindset was like in regards to women, business and love . . . and how I’ve grown into who I am today.
Let’s go back to 2008, almost a decade ago.
I was 20 years old. No idea what to do in life. No purpose, no passions (unless you’d class Metallica and porn as ‘passions’).
I longed to leave the UK and set up somewhere warm with a smooth lifestlye. Must be the Italian in me.
I was awkward around girls. Followed the pick-up gurus religiously to discover the best ‘chat up line’. Y’know, that mystical combination of words and the ‘one weird trick’ that makes all women throw off their underwear and start giving you head, even if you just met?
Yeah, that was the quick fix I was looking for. A part of me knew it was B.S.
But another, bigger part of me insisted to keep looking anyway.
Anyway, long story-short: no career, no business, no income, no sex, no life. 2008 in a nutshell
(Although Iron Man was released that year and I also became a big superhero nerd too).
2009: Started working as a personal trainer out of a gym. Found a focus for my income. My whole family have a scarcity mindset around money. They aren’t ‘broke’, but they aren’t rich either, and have very limited world-views. If I was going to make money to impress women (those chat-up lines weren’t going to work…) then I had to go it alone.
Got really good at being a personal trainer, because I spent most of my time in the gym, and also doing Mixed Martial Arts
(see the pattern? all the things I THOUGHT would make me desirable to women…)
Speaking of women… by this time I’d been through a small string of short flings and pretty awful ‘relationships’.
Relationships where I would bend over backward to give her what she pleased.
I would follow the girly advice of ‘just be nice, and be yourself, and do nice things’. Which made me as attractive as a fart in a spacesuit.
2010: The year I left the UK and decided to become a self-employed trainer with my own studio.
Friends of my family offered me a place to rent at their apartment in Cyprus. (tiny Mediterranean island at the tip of eastern europe, if you’re unfamiliar)
I’d also gotten into a new relationship which seemed on a better track than before. I did learn from every relationship I’d been in . . .as well as the times I was single.
I discovered more about personal development, masculinity, and energy than the standard pick up books were talking about. Went deeper into teachings from David Dieda, Tony Robbins, Owen Cook and Elliott Hulse, to name but a few.
I started grasping what this was really all about… but didn’t ‘get it’ fully because I was still seeking the external to create the internal. More on that later. For now its important to know I was with a girl, sex was great. . . .I became a better man and leader. . . and 4 months into our relationship I told her I was leaving for Cyprus.
She was welcome to come with me for her own reasons, but I was leaving anyway, full stop. She said she wanted to come, and it was for her, not for me. We agreed and got our tickets.
When I arrived in Cyprus I actually chickened out of opening my fitness studio. I was too emotionally attached to my ego. If the business failed, I would be a failure. That was the story in my head.
So instead, I set up a property management company with a small family I met who could do all the technical work. I did all the marketing and appointment setting.
It actually took off pretty well and within 90 days had over 60 customers across the island.
At that point I gained the confidence to open my fitness bootcamp, in an outdoor park area.
At the same time as I was growing my businesses. . . my then-girlfriend wasn’t having a great time. Turned out she was in Cyprus only to stay with me out of fear of loss.. and NOT for her own reasons as she’d claimed. She wasn’t able to find work and had no money left.
We grew apart, stopped having sex and eventually just stopped talking. Even though we still lived together.
She accused me of cheating, and was jealous and paranoid.
But I still wasn’t man enough to end it and leave her out on her own.
Eventually we did break it off and she returned to the UK.
I parted ways with the property management company and focused on my fitness bootcamp, where I’d now set up a small private studio.
I thought it was a fresh-start… now single, and able to focus on my new business…
But in reality, things were about to get rough.
2011: This was the year of struggle.
This is where I learned my biggest business lessons. I got obsessed with trying to make my studio work.. I read a hundred books…. didn’t know where to start applying them….
I went to all the courses, paid for all the mentors and masterminds… and just got overwhlemed with “How to” stuff.
No matter what I was failing to sustain my business and my overheads had risen.
At the same time I met a beauty therapist. She was a few years older than me… slim, petite, sexy… and we got together. She owned her own salon too so we had a lot in common being self-employed locally.
Again, I rushed into it too fast from the beginning. I thought “I might not get another girl this sexy so I should get with her long-term.”
That doomed it from the start.
I was obsessed with the business so neglected her, and my myself.
Within a year I wanted out. But didn’t have the balls. I’d also moved in with her. A mutual agreement so that we could both SHARE the rent. Talk about a scarcity mentality.
But at the time, I thought thats just what you do, right? Social conditioning at its finest.
Things had turned around – now I was the partner with no money. I relied on her to keep a roof over my head and support me whilst I grow my business.
She expected me to stay for companionship and great sex (one skill I DID have amongst all my failings…)
To be honest at this time I felt like a little bitch. I allowed myself to be a puppy dog and be used…because in return I could use her too.
I had a lot to learn about relationships it seemed.
2013: The year of the Turning Point. New lows and new highs…
I finally got the balls to end the relationship. I got the confidence from talking to a girl that my girlfriend knew. This girl owned a hair salon. She was a straight talker, and saw past my BS immediately.
She was a friend of my girlfriend, so we’d occasionally all hang out together. But me and this girl didn’t have a great chemistry. I think she could smell the lack of masculinity in me.
But it was refreshing to talk to her because she would give me the direct, no BS truth I needed. She told me I should end the relationship. Be a man. Step up. And to look at how selfish it was that I was stopping my girlfriend from having what SHE really wanted in life – a guy who **was happy** to be her puppy dog 🙂
That was the first time I’d thought about it that way. By ending it sure it would hurt her feelings, but in the long run it was the best thing for her and for me.
So I ended it. (although I never mentioned that the inspiration and courage came from one of her friends!)
She was devastated… and I moved out.
At this time, my business still wasn’t doing great. At all.
I moved into a one-bed single apartment. Tiny. Falling apart. Dilapidated.
Soon after, the electricity went off. I literally couldn’t afford to pay the arrears and get it reconnected. I lived in the dark.
I ate coco-pops and full fat milk. That was to get the most calories with the smallest budget (I guess being a trainer gave some economically-efficient nutrition skills!)
The turning point came when I finished up at my fitness studio one night… and didn’t want to go home. I just couldn’t face it. It was a reflection of lows I’d hit.
It was a 45 minute walk home (couldn’t afford a car). And I didn’t have the energy. I didn’t see the fucking point.
So I slept in my studio. On the matted floor. Using my backpack as a pillow.
The next day, I woke up before the clients arrived.
I did my sessions with them and finished up at 10am.
Then I made a decision to sort out my fucking life.
I got business on track. Got focused. Got clear. Made the calls I was afraid of. Took the actions I’d put off. Got myself organized.
I got one of my clients to be my assistant and personal organizer in return for free coaching.
And after years of personal development reading and studying it FINALLY became apparent that I needed to start BEING, in order for the DOING and HAVING to fall into place.
I learned something great from Richard Branson, around that time. In one of his books he said:
“The amount of success you achieve is directly related to how much responsibility you are willing to accept.”
It finally dawned. It was about being the person you want to become.
If you want to build a successful business… attract women…. be a strong and stoic husband… be a responsible father….
You need to BE the man that can handle that FIRST, for it to come into your life.
You need to show the world your intention for it. You need to show you can handle failure before experiencing success.
Its not about doing things to make women attracted. Its about being attractive.
Big difference. We’ll get into that stuff in future content. Let me finish up the final parts of the story…
Things got on track. I doubled my business. Didn’t learn any new ‘tactics’. I just DID the things I’d been too scared to do up til this point. Like focus, be consistent.
The DOING happened because I consciously became aware of my BEING at all times.
I consciously became a LEADER. An action taker. Someone who stopped saying “What if..?” and instead started saying “Whatever happens, I’ll handle it.”
I became the person to whom success would attract itself to.
By the end of the year I had a 6-figure income.
Working 3 hours a day.
And a new business partner who took over the clients IN the business so I could work ON the business (marketing, business growth etc)
And through this personal growth spurt…. I also found myself becoming attractive to a lot more women. . .
2014: Living the luxury life
The more I was focused on being a leader of my own life and excited and passionate about growing my business, women came fast and easy (pun intended, haha 😉 )
I attracted other personal trainers who wanted to know how I’d grown my business.
Other coaches and entrepreneurs locally started asking for my help. They invited me to speak at events.
I got into the world of business consulting.
That’s when I met a Romanian woman. A successful, gorgeous business woman, who wanted not only my brain but my body too.
We got into partnership together, and created a business-consultancy which we took to a 6-figure revenue in the first 60 days. We started organizing dozens of live events around Europe and travelled the world teaching entrepreneurs how to grow their business and create more freedom.
The rest of 2014 was good. Very fucking good. Money, travel, living luxury, wild sex, speaking in front of thousands of people…. building my name as an authority in the coaching /consulting space. Launching my signature program the Expert Authority Blueprint…
So of course I was due another road-block. . .
At the start of this year we took my fitness studio concept from Cyprus and decided to open a new branch in Bucharest, Romania and scale up the model.
We had this idea back in October, and spent a few months planning and recruiting.
I was now ‘retired’ from personal training (and my excess lifestyle had caused my to gain a few pounds… so I wasn’t in the best shape to teach) so we outsourced this from day one.
I took on 4 coaches, 2 receptionists and a center manager… and led them to grow the company. Once again, by April the gym facility was turning over more than $30,000 per month, and I still had the freedom to travel and speak all over the world.
That’s when the cracks appeared.
My partner become quite attached to the gym and wanted us to stay in Bucharest. The original plan was that we would set it up, get it working without us, then return to my penthouse in Cyprus.
I didn’t really enjoy city life, as it brought out the worst in me (constant partying, over-spending and drink/ drugs).
Turns out she’d been secretly planning on staying in Romania and thought she could change my mind. But she couldn’t. I was too strong and fixed to my own life path at this point to sacrifice my dreams and desires.
So we ended it there (somewhat amicably) . The gym continues to run, but I moved back to Cyprus and continued my consulting and my business group mentoring programs online.
2016: Personal Reflection
At this point, I had financial security, passive income from the gyms, and was loving the online consulting and occasional high-ticket retreats / masterminds I’d offer in Cyprus.
I had freedom and the need for financial certainty that had driven me all these years was quenched. I decided to use this time and space to now go deeper into what it means to be an embodied man… to discover more about where our energy comes from…and immersed myself in self-mastery.
It worked pretty well. A string of lovers…with no attachments (I was finally able to state my intentions with a woman and not get sucked into a relationship because it was expected.)
I attracted higher-value women.
…and ended up with one little slip that caused a lady to become pregnant just before the year started.
However, we decided to keep the baby and were happy about it (even though we are not in a relationship, and never would be). We knew we were better as friends.
So this led to a whole new chapter in personal responsibility in my life: Fatherhood.
By the end of the year I was a father, with a great friendship with the mother, and business was scaling and growing as planned.
Around the same time, at one of my Cyprus retreats I met a woman I was instantly drawn to. And she was instantly drawn to me.
Which was strange, because the last time I’d seen her – 3 years ago – was repelled by my stench of low-masculinity.
It was the friend of that ex-girlfriend who gave me the kick in the ass to end that relationship.
But things were different now. Well, I was different.
I was a conscious man, embodied and aware.
It was like we met each again for the first time, and in a way we had. At the end of the retreat she extended her arm out and jokingly said, “Nice to meet you!”
I didn’t know what she meant… so she told me I wasn’t the guy she knew 3 years ago.
Now there was attraction, like crazy.
We started hanging out as friends again.
I would be out with her friends and colleagues and ended up giving them advice on their relationships and personal consciousness. I had explored a LOT about feminine and masculine energies at this point. I had a lot of free time and resources on my hands!
Soon after, me and that woman got together. Consciously. I realized that I was happy on my own…that I didn’t NEED her.
She didn’t ‘complete me’.
I didn’t need to use her to be happy. I was happy, and she was happy.
But together we decided we could SHARE and EXPAND that happiness.
2017 – The present day
And up to this day… we’re still together. We live in a 4-bedroom villa overlooking the ocean. She gets on well with the mother of my child, and we even all hang out with the mum’s new boyfriend too.
This is all the result of owning our shit as men. Being conscious of who we’re being, and making decisions to ACT from that place (and not from fear and ego).
I now have successful business… passive income streams… a hot, sexy, direct / no BS woman that will always speak her mind… a 1 year old baby boy whose happy, healthy and handsome…
And a level of self-mastery that is still evolving all the time (I’ve still got a long way to go, I’m not on a pedestal, and I’m no guru).
It was earlier this year when I came across Gio’s teachings. They encapsulated everything I had learned, believed and experienced myself. Only she put into words so clear, so practical and so intuitive that I fell in love with her work immediately.
I shared her posts with my partner. We ‘used’ Gio’s posts to strengthen our own relationship.
I reached out to Gio one day to thank her for her work and express my appreciation.
And that turned into a new business relationship.
And here we are today. Gio later reached back out to me, and said that many men were asking her questions on these topics.
That she desired to open an exclusive community for men that were driven, ambitious, wanting self-mastery… but were sick of the over-the-top “alpha male” nonsense out there
(really, ice-baths and beating each other up in a ring to prove yourself a man is hardly that. And Im a former cage fighter, so I think I have the credentials to say that getting punched in the head wasn’t what made me the man I am today)
At the same time, these driven men are also aware that the magical ‘dating and pick up lines’ are useless too. However.. if you’re readying this you are already a better man than I was in 2008,
Because, as I mentioned, I ignored that part of my intuition that said the external was important. And I kept looking for ‘it’. And it cost me a few years.
You are a better man already because you’re here. To be honest, at that point in my journey I would have turned my nose up at something like this. Thats why it took me more than 10 fucking years to be able to write this post.
My desire is that you can achieve what you want in a FRACTION of that time.
I’m no ‘men’s coach’.
I don’t have a program or a course to sell on this
I’m just extremely grateful that Gio asked me to be here and share this experience with her. That will always mean a lot.
I’m here for you, and for myself. I love to talk about this stuff, and express.
And I know I can share powerful insights and help you in ways that I see the other ‘solutions’ are not doing.
No macho shit here. No ego. No pick up lines.
Just becoming more conscious of who you are as a man, what that means and how to express it, daily.
And when you do that, you’ll naturally find the right actions.
and you’ll naturally receive the things, experiences and success you’ve been looking for (with a healthy balance between business, love and life).
Look forward to connecting with you and getting to know you on this journey.